I have been thinking about Jeanette Winterson and her portrayal of madness. I think what I found so refreshing was her lack of apology and the presence to take a positivity from the difficulty. In the same vein, then, I read this and thought it rang true. I’ll ignore the last sentence for now.
“Anxiety is like the spouse you’re stuck with for better and worse, who makes you nuts but has permeated your cells and without whom you cannot imagine your own heart beating. Anxiety lives with you day and night, holding your hand and nudging you to act, urging you to get up, do more, fix something, make something. Never satisfied, always pressing, it wants you to win, to outlast the others, to impress, excite, excel, astonish. And, as in a marriage, you comply, mostly agreeably, for your anxiety traces the rhythm of your life. Then one morning, it has you by the throat and you find yourself weepy and overwrought, unable to respond to its call.”
-Lisa Miller, ‘Listening to Xanax’, New York Magazine, March18, 2012.